Chipotle!

Okay, seriously.. I never tried Chipotle before surgery. I eventually tried it around Christmas time, when me and my dad were out Christmas shopping.. He had had it before. and liked it. So he was glad when I said i wanted to try it. -- My best friend had been bugging me about it for everrrrr. So she was glad I did too.

I just got a chicken burrito bowl. with mild salsa cheese and sour cream and like 1/4th of it filled me up. and I didn't eat hardly any of the rice. amazing, right? And it was freaking delicious.. So.. I went home and went online.. Found their nutrition information.. and was surprised at how great it was for you..

I've since modified my order.. I ask for half the rice (even though they don't always do it.. I still ask) and extra chicken.. Sometimes I get lettuce, other times I don't. Then I always get a lot of fresh tomato salsa, sometimes I'll add on roasted chili corn salsa.. It's more spicy. (Spicy food is amazing. I'm so glad my sleeve can handle it.) then cheese and sour cream.

I can break it down into 3 full meals for me. And this is what it breaks down to be:

705 calories / 3 = 235

23.5 carbs /3 = 7.5

76.5 protein / 3 = 25.5

..........Did I do that right? 7.5 carbs and 25.5 grams of protein...? *Double Checks* yep... I did it right.

It's insane!!! Honestly. It tastes so good. and is such a good source of protein. And the total is like 7 or 8 dollars... for the bowl. Break that down to 3 meals... That's like $2.50 or something? Not bad. at all.

Definitely check it out. If you're into Mexican food, or trying new things, give it a shot. If your only a few months out from surgery I'd suggest getting the mild salsa, and if you like beans get pinto instead of black.. less spicy and easier on your stomach.

Have a great day. (:

-Ashley.

Vitamins!!!!!

These are the vitamins I take, currently, 9months out.

Multivitamin 2x a day (One a Day VitaCraves Gummys): http://www.drugstore.com/one-a-day-vitacraves-sour-gummies-complete-adult-multivitaminmultimineral-supplement/qxp218242?catid=180675 (Sour type.. Taste & texture of sour patch kids.)

Calcium Citrate 2x a day (Bariatric Advantage Raspberry Chewy Bites): https://www1.bariatricadvantage.com/catalog/list/2/Calcium (taste & texture of laffy taffy.. i take two twice a day.)

Vitamin D 1x a day: http://www.drugstore.com/nature-made-vitamin-d3-1000-iu-softgels/qxp344274?catid=183173

Vitamin B12 1x a month (shot/injection): I get it through prescription. But you can mail order them, and order online. I'm not sure about what websites.. But here is one you could check out: http://www.b12-shot.com/#b12 I take 1000mcg 1x a month.

I was on B1 for 6 months after surgery, but I'm not anymore, but this is the brand I was taking once a day: http://www.drugstore.com/sundown-naturals-high-potency-b1-100mg-tablets/qxp186184?catid=183165

On my scars/stretch marks I'm currently using Vaseline brand Cocoa butter lotion, and pure vitamin e oil.. I've never done much for any scars or marks or anything.. They faded eventually. But newer ones I'm trying to fade quicker... So I'm not sure if this will help at all yet but.. it's worth a shot.

http://www.drugstore.com/vaseline-intensive-care-cocoa-butter-deep-conditioning-body-lotion/qxp157894?catid=182918

http://www.drugstore.com/sundown-naturals-pure-vitamin-e-oil-70000-iu/qxp186909?catid=183177

Then of course I have my prescriptions.. But these are just all the vitamins I'm on/have been on. They've worked pretty well. The smell of the B1 was nasty... and I didn't take it as often as I was supposed to because the smell alone made me sick, not to mention the taste. I was taking gummy/chewy vitamins after surgery because they're easier to get down.. and I just kept doing it because they taste good.. I don't need to. I could take regular ones if I wanted to. Haha.

Alright. So Just thought I'd share this. I seriously prefer the b12 shot once a month, instead of a b12 pill once or twice a day... its one less pill to worry about. People say the shot burns or hurts or aches a lot.. But I don't have a problem with it. My moms a registered nurse. so she usually gives it to me. I'm gonna ask her to show me how to do it myself, sometime. although I've seen her do it enough times.. I don't think I'll have a problem.

So yeah. Have a great day. (:

-Ashley.

The hospital (and surgery) is my 'Sanctuary'.

A friend of mine I met through a mutual love for a band, is making a book to give them at a show later this month.. Based off of this song.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdKu_J5ebMg Listen to it.. Honestly. It’s amazing. <3

But anyways.. The idea is send a picture in of yourself with what you consider to be, or in what place you consider to be your “sanctuary”.. & Write a few words about it.  I sent in a picture of me (That is currently my banner) of me in the hospital bed, in the recovery room after surgery… http://i50.tinypic.com/2mwe1vo.jpg --and I wrote this along with it..

“The hospital... I go there pretty often... I don't mind, because, well, put simply.. The doctors there saved my life. Without surgery.. I wouldn't be able to enjoy concerts or photography or anything else I do enjoy. Every time I go there I'm reminded of how much stronger I am now than I was before. & How much better my life is. so yeah... The hospital is definatley my Sanctuary." <3

It’s the truth…  That song has helped me get through a lot. Hell. That whole band has and they have absolutely no clue. – But without this surgery.. I wouldn’t be in a good place like I am now. I wouldn't be off of my antidepressants. I wouldn’t be applying to college or looking for a job. I wouldn’t be going to a huge music festivle/tour in July. I wouldn’t be able to last all day on my feet, like I can now! It’s just.. amazing. I am getting sick of going to the hospital so much.. But every time I do It’s just an amazing reminder of how far I’ve come.. How much healthier I am.. and How grateful I should be that I’m doing so well and just.. It’s fantastic. It’s reassuring, aswell.. To know people care and are trying to help me STAY healthy. And I can’t imagine it any other way. I can't thank the people that have helped me along on this journey enough. My doctors, the people I've met on ObesityHelp, The other teenagers i've met that had the same surgery (or wls in general..) or are planning to.. anyone who has encouraged this blog.. everything.

It's amazing... I remember the second I got accepted for a consultation.. For WLS... That day was the last time I ever cut myself... I remember the day of the consultation I had so much makeup over the cuts.. Just to make sure no one would see them... Because I needed this surgery. If i didn't seem completely stable.. I didn't think I'd be able to get it. -- I had finally found a glimmer of hope.. a silver lining, I guess. A few months later I was off of anti depressants.. i still have some anxiety every now and then but.. It's controlled.. I'm able to control it now..  I've ahd a few off days.. especially when i was frustrated feeling like the surgery was for nothing but... as of 5-15-2012  at 16 years old, I'm 195 lbs. I havent been 195lbs since I was 13... It's just unreal.  I still have family issues.. but they dont bother me as much as they used to, because I'm not stuck at home all the time... and They're not my main focus. my main focus now is getting healthy.  nothing else bothers me or is as important to me, as that  is, right now.

I've never been more thankful for anything in my life. I don't think I ever will be because, well, the VSG gave me my life back... A life i don't think I ever had.. Absolutely everything doesn't revolve around my weight gains anymore.. Because i havent gaiend any weight in a year and a half.. It's just.. one of those things. It's surreal.

People who havent experienced it can't really understand.. So people think i'm crazy and that I have an anorexic way of thinking.. Because I'm so weight obsessed.. But that's all I know. My entire life has revolved around my weight.. And It's amazing to be able to focus on other things for once.. I'm re-learning how to live a normal life.. Although anxiety provoking, and frustrating, and depressing sometimes.. It's amazing I get to now. I got the gift at a young enough age.. I dont' have to live the rest of my life the way I lived the first 15 years. I don't have to live in fear or the unkonwn about my diseases and I now know that seriously.. If you really want to do something.. You'll do it. You'll find a way. There is ALWAYS  a way. No matter what it is. Now that doesn't mean it will come quickly. or easily. But theres always a way for whatever you want to happen, to happen.

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll still land among the stars.

Have a great day. <3

-Ashley(:

Fluids!!

Before surgery, on the pre-op diet I was required to get 80-90oz of sugar free fluids a day. At the hospital, i was allowed to leave once I could finish 32oz I believe. Anyways.. then my goal was set at 64+oz of fluids. Lately I've tried bumping it up to 70 or 80 oz to see if it would help speed up weight loss. (When I figure out if it's helping, I'll let you know.. Haha)

But it's really hard to get that in.. Especially right after surgery.. I should have gone to the hospital a couple times in the first few months, because I know I was dehydrated.. So did everyone around me. We just never got around to going.. Some days were better than others. But that was the main issue I had post-op. Drinking enough. And it's still something I have to remind myself, and force myself to do.

I can't drink tap water. I don't know why, just the tap water in my city isn't very good. And it makes me sick, drinking it. I prefer ice cold water/drinks too. and our 'cold' setting on water isn't very cold.. Haha. So if you can, that's fantastic. If not (or in addition to..), here are some ideas of things that I drink, or things you could try, to help make sure you get enough fluids. (The ones with three star things [asterises? sp?] before them, are the ones you should clear with your surgeon/doctor or wait till your at least a few months out to try.)

• Bottled water (I'm hoping that was obvious to most people...)
• Crystal Light or Mio or any flavor enhancers that you add into water that are SF.
• Fruit 2 0 (Or any brand of flavored water.. Aquaphina and Nestle have some, too.)
• Propel Zero (Also has vitamins in.. Which are great.)
• Broth (Right out from surgery broth from chicken noodle soup and vegetable soup was a staple for me. A little high in sodium, but I was super tired of the sweet protein shakes and fruity waters, etc..)
• ***G2 (It does have like 5 grams of sugar per serving.. But it's super low in calories and a good treat every now and then..)
• ***SF Lemonade (one of my favorites. but some of the acid can affect people differently.)
• SF Popsicles or Jello (Yes, both count towards liquids.)
• ***Diet Soda (Not super soon out from surgery.. but after 4 or 5 months i had a little bit.. diluted with ice water. It worked out to be 1 1/2 part water, 2 parts Diet Soda (Diet Pepsi, usually.) Or just wait for some of the carbonation to go away after a bit... Caffeine free is best.
• BariWise Fruit Drinks or Cappucinos (Protein drinks that you mix with water.. Sugar free or very low in sugar. They can count towards your fluids, too!)
• Some Teas (Green Tea, Mint Tea, etc... its warm. I'm not a huge fan of it, but a lot of people are. You could definatley try it. Just make sure its unsweetened, or you add splenda or something else sugar free.)

Alright.. So that's my list, as of now. I may add more to it later. Different surgeons and programs have different plans requirements, so be sure to follow yours.

Have a great day!!! (:

-Ashley.

Post-Op Haircare.

I don't know about everyone, but personally for me I always hid behind my hair.. (and piercings.. haha) When my hormogne levels got jacked up I started losing hair, then medications made me lose even more hair, then after surgery I lost even more hair when I wasn't getting enough protein.. Then every time medicines get changed, I lose hair. It's vicious. My hair stylist thought i was like purpously thinning my hair out.. Because it's like only half as thick as it used to be. But then I explained all the medicine changes.. and that explains it.

Also, with hypothyroidism hair can become really dry and brittle.. Then with other hormognes being messed up it can get really oily. along with your skin being oily, etc... I have a really weird mix of both. And I hate it. I control it the best I can.. But it's still frustrating.

I've done lots of different things over the years.. and I use different products at different times.. But i just found a really good combination of very cheap things that help keep my hair as healthy as it can be... So I don't lose more.

Causes for hair loss: Messed up hormogne levels, not enough protein, not enough vitamins.

So basically: Get your medications figured out, eat enough protein, and get enough vitamins.

But on top of all of that, this is what I'm doing:

**Suave 2 in 1 Ph Balancing shampoo/conditioner.

**Herbal Essences Anti-Breakage Conditioner.

**Aussie Shine Spray/Heat Protectant

**Garnier Fructis Curl-Sculpting Cream Gel

Yes. I use the shampoo/conditioner combo and then a regular conditioner on top of it.. Rinse it all out. Use a wide-tooth comb through your hair, instaed of a brush or fine tuth.. To prevent breakage. Be gentle!!

Then run some heat protectant/shinespray or leave in conditioner or any smoothing product through the hair... and either air dry, or blowdry (If you blow dry, don't do it every day if you can help it. Less damage is better.) Style however you normally do, and because I have so much re-growth.. I have to find a way to matt it down or it looks like an afro along with my long hair..

So I use the curl sculpting gel (even though I usually straighten my hair) and smooth down the top layers everywhere. it smooths it all down and keeps the flyaways and regrowth down for the most part.

and that's that. (:

It's a lot harder with long hair, like mine.. But totally worth it. I contemplated chopping all my hair off because it's so jacked up if i dont spend time on it.. But I look terrible with short hair, and I'm trying to grow it out down to like my hips... I want to do Pantene Beautiful Lengths (Similar to Locks of Love.. but for cancer patients.. Locks of love rarely donates their wigs to cancer patients.) So I'm trying to keep my hair as healthy as possible.

This is my hair now by the way..:

I didn't do much to it today. I let it air dry, then just straightened the very front portion that is more frizzy than everything else.. along with everything else I mentioned above. Most days I'll either curl it or straighten all of it. But I was lazy today. Haha.





Kay, well I'm going to go now. Have a great day!!

~Ashley (:

BariWise Protein Bar Review - Strawberry Cheesecake

You can see the nutritional information, and order them, from here: http://www.dietdirect.com/bari-wise-health-bars.html

It's honestly really good. I've had a lot of problems with protein.. Like specified protein bars, protein shakes, etc.. a lot of them I can't tolerate, or are just nasty. But this one (and the caramel crunch..) are really good. Its an accuired taste.. but I really liked it. I only ate half of it today when my blood sugar was low.. I'll probably eat the other half later on.

It does taste like strawberry cheesecake. Dipped in white chocolate. The texture is similar to like.. a 3muskateers candy bar.. maybe a little denser. (I havent had one since I was like 12.. Don't hold me to it. I'm not 100% sure.) I definatley suggest giving it a try. I really like bari-wise products. They never seem to dissapoint me.

Alright. (: Have a great day.

-ashley.
www.facebook.com/justashley1637
ashleyellen1637@aol.com

Finding the discipline.

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/VSG/4522143/Finding-the-discipline/#37450162

This is a thread someone started on www.obesityhelp.com, a website I've used a lot over the past year-year 1/2.. I joined it before I ever even mentioned surgery to my parents for the first time.

The question was "How do you find the discipline to do what you need to do when I never had the discipline to do it in the first place ??? You know losing weight, exercising, etc.....how do you find it AFTER surgery???"

You can read my response to it on that thread. Everyone should be able to view it, with or without an account.

But-- I wanted to talk about this for a minute.

How do YOU specifically find the motivation/determination to keep going? To make lifestyle changes? With or without changes? If you have already, what helped you make those changes? If you haven't, what are you waiting for? What do you think it will take? Do you not know?

Personally, I've dealt with this my whole life.. But I don't think I really started to take it seriously, until I started having serious issues.. I couldn't bathe without feeling like my heart was going to beat through my chest and I was going to pass out.. i would have to stop my shower and sit down on the side of the bath tub or the toilet seat for a few minutes to cool off and rest before I continued.. No one really saw that side of it.. I hid it pretty well.. But I would get claustrophobic really easily.. I would have to leave concerts early.. I had no control over my body.. I wasn't on the right medications and I didn't have the right doctors on my side for the longest time...

My mom is an RN (Registered Nurse.) ... She was basically out of my life for about 3 months, in 2010. From the end of August to the end of October I didn't see her once.. When she came back and saw how much my body had changed in just that short amount of time she spoke to a doctor friend of hers.. Who gave her a list of things to research.. She gave the list to me and I researched.. On that list was "Polycysitic Ovarian Syndrome" "Hypothyroidism" and "Cushings Disease/Syndrome." .... I looked them all up.. and I had never been to an Endocrinologist. It's always been GI doctors that worked with me.. 

Well I saw a Gynecologist who diagnosed me with PCOS and put me on the pill.. And it was in this time I started researching weight loss surgery..

Then I saw a Endocrinologist.. He tested me for Cushings and Hypothyroidism.. Sure enough, Hypothyroidism. No cushings. That is extremely rare, especially in children/adolescents.. But I was tested. and I still had Insulin Resistance. Well I went to a different Endocrine.. And found out I was full blown Type 2 diabetic... And basically the health I was at.. I was told I'd be lucky to make it to 35.. part of my heart was already enlarged and clearly I was never able to lose weight before.. Only maintain, and gain.. What was going to change this time?

It was right then and there I knew surgery needed to be discussed.. I had brought it up with a family doctor once.. Who didn't support the idea. but the endocrinologist even brought it up without me saying anything, and sent a referral that day to Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center.

I knew this was my last shot. And I was going to make it work. I finally had the right doctors, the right diagnosis', the right medications... and I was having WLS. a tool to help me lose and keep the weight off... I don't want to die before I'm 35. And I don't want to die the same way i watched my grandmother die, when I was 12 years old. Heart Disease, Cardiomyopothy, Type 2 Diabetes, Hypothyroidism, Hypertension, PCOS, already had a kidney removed, on dialysis, etc.... The list never ended. And i was already headed down that road at 15...

A death sentence was the reality check I needed to get my life in order... and it worked.

I'm still in the losing phase. But I'm healthier than I've been in a long time. I'm at a lower weight than I was 2 1/2-3 years ago..  And I'm feeling so much better... I can shower no problem. I jogged a mile the other day.. Something I haven't done (even just walking..) since I was 13...It's insane,.. and I know I made the right decision. (Again, you can read more on the thread I posted above.)

But my question is.. Even without surgery, why does it take people (myself included) so long to make lifestyle changes? even people who don't have the genetic component.. people who may not even have any medical problem... Eating healthy and exercise is good for everyone. Why are people so.. stuck in their ways? Why is everyone so afraid of change?

Why do things have to be this way? Why cant an entire family make changes to better themselves, instead of just one person? I know the answer to this. In my opinion anyway. I have my thoughts on all of these questions. But I'm keeping them to myself. These are just a few of my thoughts, to get your mind going.. It's really something to think about and consider before looking into WLS.. or even starting a new diet, or seeing a new doctor.. Nothing will work if you don't have enough motivation/determination.

I could go into the whole food can be a real addiction discussion.. or people are raised a certain way.. you can't teach an old dog new tricks, whatever.... But really.. with enough determination, I'd like to think anything can be done..

Now people just need to find the discipline/determination/motivation/inspiration to accomplish what they want/need to accomplish. What will it take to do that or get to that point?



Have a great day. <3
-Ashley
www.facebook.com/justashley1637
ashleyellen1637@aol.com